I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
It's shark week go big or go home
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
