Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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