it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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