mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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