Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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