Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
