Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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