Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
