Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.