how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
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i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
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I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.