hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
