Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My cat gives me a boner
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
