I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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