You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
