At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
