my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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