I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
