I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
