Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
