get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
