This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
