just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize