Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
