God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
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I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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