Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
