Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
