The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
