My liver just broke up with me...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
