it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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