so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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