he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
