im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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