oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
