Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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