Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
