last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
