somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
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We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
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Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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