put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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