Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
