I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize