God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
