Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
