The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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