I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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