Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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