dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
