This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
