Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
