How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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