well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
