so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
