Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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