went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You're a waste of cheezeits
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
