my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
