so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
