I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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