I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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