Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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