I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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