South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
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im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
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A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep