I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
