my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...