i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The feeling are messing with the penis
did you just send me my own nude
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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