thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
