i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
