so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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