I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
