glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
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Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
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You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize