I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You have to summon your inner elephant
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
MIDGETS
????
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
