$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
