i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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