I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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